Fear Free Spree

This is the post excerpt.



I stood in front of the FDR memorial and read the quote inscribed in granite, “The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.” It sounded great in high school and looked even better on a monument. My question now that I am older is, is it true? Fear is sometimes just there to protect us and to keep us safe. However, there is a time when we must take flight on this journey to live our lives. Anxiety tries to keep us from experiencing the adventures that could be a wonderful part of our experience. I am not sure about just fear itself but I know I fear a lot of things, even if mildly. This blog is my journey to have some fun as I overcome some of my everyday fears. I may be uncomfortable and talk in run on sentences at a rapid rate when I feel awkward or extremely out of place even if I am trying to look extremely chill. Finally, there are those things I avoid doing out of everyday fears that seep into my life. I do not want to live in any spirit of timidity but to live a life where I thrive. Where will this road take me from my decided assignments to assignments? Ultimately, I am not sure, but starting this blog is me stepping out. Now onto finding these everyday fears that I currently avoid so you can follow along beside me on this journey. Please feel free to send me your thoughts.

#thriftyregifter #leahporter #anxiety #wellness #mentalhealth #everydayfear #fearblog

Roll Away Roll Away

The everyday things that we fear can be vast in the extent of the fear and the nature. Meet my foam roller. My foam roller I bought but had not used. My excuse mainly centered around the fact that I had never used one before. This gives me an excuse to be concerned and keep it in my closet until the next garage sale when some optimistic healthy hopeful comes waltzing in. Right? Well unfortunately, I am facing the everyday fears and opening up my life to the things I have been avoiding. Down to the floor I descended to do four moves. I wasn’t sure what I thought at first but I was trying. Trying to figure out how to get it rolling and position myself correctly. Here I am in position one which was not my favorite. I found it awkward.

However, I rolled on and on and on into three more positions. I liked my shoulders the best and felt tension releasing in the sides of my upper legs. Just proving to myself that it was doable and that this was not impossible was a key win. I was indeed capable. The knowledge gained that you are powerful enough to do something you fear a bit will lead to the next thing and the next. Onward I roll.

#fearfreespree #fearblog #leahporter #exercise #foamrolling

Turnip With Pizza

If you turn up with pizza, you have a lot of friends. If you turn up with turnips you may lose friends. I remember a day when I did not know how to cook and feared adventure in the kitchen. I am challenging myself to be more well and take risks with food. Everything on this pizza is either a vegetable or prepared at home from natural ingredients and I was quite scared it had the potential to be awful. In the end, it made for a tasty bite. They were more filling than bagel type pizza bites as well as more satisfying. One thing being, I knew it was a positive choice for my health. I sliced the turnips (2) and seasoned them as well as added a little olive oil. Then I added a homemade sliced tomato that was cooked and seasoned with garlic powder, onion powder and Italian seasoning to taste as well as thickened with potato starch. Topped it with some favorite pizza veggies, and finished it by topping it with a nutritional yeast and cashew milk cheese sauce that was also thickened with potato starch and had seasoning in it such as salt and garlic powder. This cooked on 425 degrees in the oven for about 20 minutes. I “cooked” so unfortunately no exact measurements. However, I put that first bite in my mouth and was pleasantly surprised that my veggies were disguised. I had succeeded. It would have been easier to shy away from the adventure and go buy a pizza but I know a few more kitchen tricks, and a new recipe. So now I just might make a turnip into a pizza and deliver it to a friend.

#fearblog #leahporter #fearfreespree #cooking #turnips #pizza

Walking for my Supper

I recently moved to a more urban location with walkable access to most essential day to day needs. You know the ones you don’t think about often, like food. Proudly, I told people that I planned to walk to locations around the area to get things I needed instead of driving. It has been over a month and I had not walked to anywhere farther than the dumpster. Honestly, I even drove to the apartment office to ask a question. My fear was very valid: humidity. Walking to the grocery store brought up a few everyday fears. I am American so people will be driving by and will see me walking, the overall distance, the most giant of hills, and carrying the items back all made me cringe a little and delay my good intentions. Milk may be considered a staple but it is also lighter to transport in my vehicle. With determination, I went over the giant hill and off into the sunset never to be seen or heard from again. Of course, I am joking, as I am here writing this safely from home. Exercise was natural and had a purpose. After all was said and done, it was good to save the environment and go by foot for my milk. Actually, slow down enough to remember my re-usable bag. The hill though, hopefully I can forget walking back up it by next time I need milk or I will at least appreciate my need for bread more. At times, I have wondered if I could rely on alternate transportation completely. My anxiety meter points to not yet or never on that one but this blog is a process of letting go of fears and discovering the adventures that unfold in the process.

#fearblog #fearfreespree #leahporter #walking #groceryshopping #greenliving

Going to the Car Wash

Yes, seriously. This is in my everyday fear blog. Let me explain how such an everyday thing belongs here. I have either hand washed my car or drove my car through the car wash for years. However, I was always a bit scared to use the high power sprayer or vacuum and wash it myself. I am conquering fears and living more frugally so off I went. I put those quarters in and set out to clean my car. The end result after my time ran out is hardly the point. Thank goodness. Just as anybody conquering a new sport, I must work on my speed as well as timing. I sprayed, scrubbed, rinsed, and need to do it again but it was in reality, fairly easy. Twenty years of driving and I am living proof and ready to admit folks. It is not a big deal to get out of your own car and wash it at the car wash. You save a little money and even get a little exercise. In fact, you need to move a little fast so it is a great, productive way to get in a little more activity. Imagine that. I came, I washed, and I conquered the car wash challenge. Look out. You never know what could be next. I sense a cooking challenge coming on.

#fearblog #leahporter #thriftyregifter #mentalhealth #anxiety #everydayfear #carwash #dailyactivity #dailymovement

Me? Swimsuit?

So because wellness has been a journey for me, I wanted to do a little photo shoot in honor of my progress. I modeled in a “swim suit” and if you wish to learn more and see the rest of the photos, read on. A fear of being in a swimsuit grew to be even more true after gaining a significant amount of weight due to a medical reason after high school. I also dress fairly conservative anyway so, regardless, swimsuits feel a little odd. However, I love the water but found myself avoiding anything that involved it. Often, if the event involves water then the swimming suit might be involved, unless you plan on being anything more than a bystander. I am happy to tell you that this fear that kept me in bystander mode was demolished in a day with a little problem solving. Yoga pants became a bigger thing and I saw them everywhere. It hit me, I could wear those in the pool and still move freely. If I want my arms covered I have the option to wear a tighter fitting yoga or exercise top or if not, still wear my swim suit top which is a one piece with separates. Since this discovery, I have participated fully in a family beach vacation and multiple water events. In my family, it is just a fact that I am the absolute heaviest person with men included. It can be intimidating when there is a beach destination wedding or pool party. At the destination wedding, I did not ever fear showing my body in “my” suit and it helped the cool water feel more comfortable. I was happy to jump in the waves and play on the beach. This suit moves, dries and behaves a lot like swim suit material. My ideal pants would be lycra based with a similar top that has sleeves. I have seen similar sun protection tops like this for children but not adults. Other options depending on your shape and/or comfort level might include tighter fitted athletic shorts out of a similar material or the yoga bottoms with a bikini top. The color options are endless and you can purchase a pair fairly cheaply. There even ended up being added bonuses: less sunscreen and overall maintenance to get ready to go swimming. I often thought getting ready for the pool was more difficult than the activities in the pool itself. Swimming is a great option for movement, that I no longer avoid. Also, I think I look a little like a surfer or paddle boarder which is totally awesome, dude!

#fearblog #everydayfear #anxiety #mentalhealth #swimming #swimsuit #wateractivity #yogapants #wellness

Lady On the Run

On your mark. Get Set. Run and hide. The majority of my activity post high school was not out in public. Exercise videos, gym memberships used just in January, and attempts to “get into shape” here and there with various means made up my intermittent sporadic routines. I hated working out in front of people. My workouts were hermit quality with a desire to be free of my shell. My fears dealt with performance, weather, and the idea that other people might actually see me moving. So for this fear challenge, I set up my sprinting cones on a humid night near the highway. Family drove by (Eeek), strangers, and the neighbors played across the road. I ran as fast as I could go and sensed a little anxiety when a car drove by but still I ran. My heart pounded, I sweated, and I felt sheepishly proud. My hope is to take this activity up to the next level of everyday fear, the park. I always think those people in the outdoor yoga classes are so brave!

#fearblog #everydayfear #thriftyregifter #running #run #anxiety #mentalhealth #wellness #living #joyful

Craftier Than You Think

I always get big ideas for upcycling projects. The problem comes in my follow through. There is always someone better at these things or I fear it will be too big of a task beyond my level of expertise. It is easy to build this task up in my head as a giant monster with three heads that eats crafting posers for breakfast. Projects sit undone as they wait and wait for a little love. My commitment was to do one of my projects off my list weekly. After a consult with a talented friend, I went to work with some determination. This island needed some tender loving care on the back side. It will be facing the main living space and I wanted it to pop with a little color as well as shine with some design. Often the fear of starting a project or the work it will entail is worse than the actual process. As it began to take shape and I started painting, I found my groove. This process was relaxing and the finished product made me proud. My fear turned into a sense of feeling productive as well as having a sense of accomplishment. As a bonus, I even liked the final result.

#fear #anxiety #fearblog #everydayfear #thriftyregifter #mentalhealth #crafts #craftprojects #livinglife #risktaking